I sure suck at talking in front of groups of people

Kizzume

Man, last night's show wasn't that great. We played last, and on a Thursday night that means that there's gonna be nobody there. We had about 7 people in the audience by the time we went up there. And still, even with just 7 people in the audience, I SUCK at talking to the audience. I'm fine once I'm singing, but I just suck at just talking. I'm already nervous enough of a person--I have a hard enough time just talking to people face-to-face. I never know what to say when I'm on stage. I say things like "How y'all doing tonight? I'm kind of fucked up myself." just to have something to say. I'm thinking I'm going to need to plan a specific set of lines to say when I'm up on stage as if I'm playing a part in something theatrical. Anyway, okay, well, I'm done whining for now. Smile

jq · Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 1088

This was a problem for Trent Reznor for years. It is hard. Keep practicing and performing and you'll get better at it. Cool

Kizzume · Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:59 pm Post subject:

I didn't know he struggled with that. If you have any articles that talk about that, that'd be great. I'd love to know what he describes as how he got over it.

jq · Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 1088

jq · Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 1088

And for what its worth, I think you are an excellent performer and don't have anything to be nervous about. as for conversation, you're a pretty affable guy!

Kizzume · Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 4:50 pm Post subject:

Well, true, I don't have much confidence in myself--all that goes through my head is "I'm a loser living with my mom with no real job and I stink because I'm allergic to deodorant", which is hard to shake off when I'm up on stage. The only confidence I really have is in my musical abilities, which is why I'm not nervous WHEN I'm actually performing, but I AM a nervous wreck between every song.

If or when I actually start making money from this, I think my confidence will start to go up too--once I no longer have to live with my mom or different people rent-free because I'm poor and once I no longer need food stamps. In this society, it seems that if one doesn't make money, he or she might as well be a bum with a sign at freeway exits.

jq · Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 1088

Don't wait until you are making money to make things right with yourself. Money doesn't make you more or less important. It may have definite benefits, but there are plenty of rich losers, and poor winners. You need to make things right with yourself now.

jq · Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 1088

Kizzume · Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:20 am Post subject:

Thanks VERY much for those links. VERY much Smile

Reading this sort of thing is VERY helpful.

With the money thing--I've had to rely on other people for SO long to survive. I've been basically controlled by other people--I have to constantly make sure that I'm doing things that make my mooching off people worth while. I've never had my own place, by myself, for more than 6 months in my life. I've only been able to hold a job for 3 months max before my panic has destroyed each and every one of them. I've never really known what it is like to TRULY be able to make all my own decisions because of how much I've relied on other people throughout my life.

I want to be able to feel like I can be independent--not from the band, I love the comradery and friendships I have gotten--it's just the idea of being able to completely hold my own. The biggest part is not having to live with my mother or couch surfing at friend's places anymore. Actually having space I can TRULY call mine. Being able to have my own thoughts without some feeling of someone walking in and judging me for them, or judging me for not getting up at THIS or THAT time, or not judging me for not doing things in a particular order, or not judging me period. I'm tired of living with this feeling of "okay, what have I done wrong now".

That's the primary reason why money is a concern for me. I just want the opportunity to feel like I'm my own person.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of advantages to staying where I am as well, but that feeling like I'm a loser because of how I've had to live for so many years is a very difficult thing to get past.

jq · Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 1088

Still, you say you are willing to sign any contract musically with a record label. You know that you won't be calling all of your shots if you do. I just want to remind you that we all have things which are beyond our control (Bosses we don't like, maybe roomate problems, parent problems, etc.) The biggest way to get independent isn't just money, but in attitude. You gotta learn to like yourself and then get a "can do" and especially a "will do" attitude.

I think you may be heading in that direction. Your enthusiasm for your band is particularly exciting. Regardless of who you end up signing with I think this will be your chance to really shine and show your talent. I just hope you remember it won't be just money that gets you there, but determination, talent, and most importantly, self-respect.

You gotta find a way to respect yourself man. And yes, I think money will help that situation. But earning money doing something you love-- that is, the day to day journey-- is every bit as important as the destination I'd say!

Kizzume · Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:30 pm Post subject:

Absolutely Smile

Thanks